Not only my daughter, but now my sister......

last night at church something truly wonderful happened. hannah told pastor that she was ready to be baptized. i was so proud of her. she has been a christian for 4 years. but she was never ready to be baptized. she asked me if we could go to pastor before church and talk to him about it.

about one week ago hannah came to me and told me that she was ready to be baptized. i asked her how long she had been thinking about this and she told me, "about three months." i asked her how she knew she was ready. she said that God had given her a dream telling it was time to get baptize. that was so exciting to hear that she hears from God. she is so farther along with God at her age than i was. i am so proud of her. i know she is going to grow up to do incredible things for God. she has been prayed for for so long. i know she is learning and growing in God. i can just tell.

i love that hannah feels like she can tell me anything. i hope that goes on for a very long time. she was nervous talking to pastor. her voice was very quiet. but he was so gentle with her. she is going to be baptized in june, when her daddy is home. i would not want him to miss this.

i wanted to get her something special to mark this occaision. do any of you have any ideas? she already has a bible, necklace .

i love her so much.

my dear sweet hannah,
may you always hear the voice of God. may you always feel His presence in your life. always pray to Him about everything. lean on Him. trust Him. ask Him. love Him. He will truly end up being your best friend.

Love you,
mommy

I Was Destined To Be Your Mama.....

Ten years ago, I was given the best gift any woman could ever receive. The birth of my first born daughter. She had brown eyes, creamy doll like skin, and more affection in her eyes toward me than any other person has given me. I didn't know her yet, but time would take care of that. We were a stunning couple right from the start. She responded to my voice the first time a spoke her name. It was at that moment, that I knew I was destined to be her mama.

We had a lot to learn, her and I. But we were off to a great start. The second she looked in my eyes I knew I was captivated. The bond between us had been growing for nine months. I started singing to her, from the moment I knew she had been created. I remember the day I found out she was growing inside me, like it was yesterday. I shared my hopes and dreams with her. I talked to her constantly, telling her what a blessing she was to my life. How God had been so faithful.

We would go on long walks together just her and I. I watched in amazement as my belly grew with that precious baby. It was a miracle. It was promise of hope, the future, brighter sunny days. I was so excited.

After Hannah was born, I would just sit and hold her for hours and hours on end. Not only was she holding my hand as I rocked her, she was holding my heart. How beautiful she was to me. This precious gem. This little girl that I had prayed for for so long. I remember finally laying her in the little bassinet, only to sit up in the wee hours of the night just gazing upon her.

What a cuddle bug she was, this little girl of mine. I used to rock her and she would take her little hand and hold on to my hair, stroking it gently. I would sing to her of my love. Her little face would just light up.

She is ten now, and I can feel her trying to gain her independence. Ever once in a while sneaking a peek back just to make sure that she has not drifted off too far. Still wanting me, as she tries out her new found legs. I will be there my precious angel. For you see, there is no space between us. You are flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone. You carry my heart with you forever. You are my truest part of my heart. I love you forever.

Three years and three months later, I was to be gifted again. What a surprise!!! What a shock!!! What a miracle. I discovered you, in late November. I will never forget that day either. I went and bought two pregnancy tests, just to make sure. But your daddy knew of you. He knew before I did. He was not surprised at all. What a blessing you were to us. My pregnancy was filled with sheer delight and joy. The time seemed to flutter by. I used to go into your room, before you were born, and rock in the rocker I spent hours rocking you in, just talking to you. I sang to you. I prayed for you. I reveled in the sheer delight knowing that you were there.

I have such vivid memories of Hannah placing her hand on my stomach, and saying to me,"Mama, when is she coming?" "Will she love me?" I would answer, "Yes my sweet."

Your arrival gave us a scare. But we were so protected by our heavenly Father. We did not get to officially meet until the next day. I really don't remember that day. They tell me you cried all night long, until they finally decided to bring you to me. I had tubes in my mouth. But they held you on my chest and immediately you stopped crying. You rested there for a long, long time. That was our first official meeting. Every time they took you from me, you cried. You had beautiful blue eyes and china like skin. The sheer joy I felt once I got to hold you in my arms. We had a bond that no one could ever break. Our lives rested in the hand of God. We had to stay in the hospital for one week, and then we were allowed to go home.

It was summer. Our days were filled with cuddle time, long gazes into each others eyes, and you were constantly carried by me. Like a rare jewel that I could never put down. I saw immediately that you had joy unspeakable. You were a very happy baby. My heart was certainly captivated by you. You were a mama's girl from the start. We were hip to hip all the time.

You remind me of a butterfly. You float through life. Your joy is contagious. People can not help but smile when they are around you. You fill our house with laughter.

I know there will come a time when you too, will try to gain your independence from me. I pray that that day will take a long time to come. However, I know the day is coming.My darling Rebekah, I love you with a love ever lasting. I will always be there for you. You are my joy. Heart of my heart. Bone of my bone. I love you forever!!!!!!!!!!!

To my baby grills:
I am so thankful for you. You have completed my life. You are the best thing I have ever been allowed to do with my life. You have made me what I am today...............

A MOMMY

Church Camp and the Nasty Hall......

This past weekend we went to Dallas for Matt and Mandy's wedding. It was simply beautiful. We really had a great time. The next day we had set up app. for looking at houses with our realtor. Anyway, on Sunday we decided to have lunch at one of our favorite restaurants right off of 380. We were eating our lunch just laughing and having a good time when we started talking about church camp.

Hannah was explaining to Rebekah about how the day goes and how much fun it is.
Bekah begins to ask questions about different things and then she finally leans over and says, "Hannah what do you do in the nasty hall? " All of us were like what are you talking about? She kept saying you know, the nasty hall? We were stumped. We had absolutely no idea about what she was talking about.

Finally she says you know the one you eat in. I am still stumped. I look over at David and he is laughing hysterically. He looks at me and says Kim, she's talking about a MESS HALL!!!!!!!!! I literally had tears of laughter rolling down my face.

A Teacher, A Principal, A Boss, A Mentor, and A Friend...

i recently went to a funeral. it was a very difficult funeral. my 6th grade teacher, my principal, my boss, my mentor, my friend passed away last week. what a wonderful person he was. i remember so many wonderful things about this man, not only from my childhood, but also as a boss and a friend. his name was mitchell west. he was born and raised in miles, texas. he lived there all of his life except for a time when he went to college at texas tech, and also was a military police in the military.
when he got out of the military he met and married his wife of 52 years and they settle back in miles. he was the heart and soul of miles elementary. he taught, coached, and was a principal there for 39 years. after he retired, just a few short years ago, he began subbing at the school. he just couldn't leave. and we didn't want him to. we all loved and respected him so much.
he had a loud booming voice and a gentle heart. he walked tall, but with a gentle spirit.
he had flaming red hair. he wore the same kind of pants that my dad did. i don't know why i remember that, but i do. he also carried a little plastic comb in his pocket.
i will never forget the day that he interviewed me about ten years ago. i walked in his office like i was still in the 6th grade going to see the principal. well i was wasn't i? the office smelled just like it did when i was going to school there. my childhood came flooding back to me. he greeted me with the biggest smile. he was so warm. imagine interviewing with your old teacher and principal for a job. i was nervous to say the least. i go in and sit down. i ask him if he wants to see my professional portfolio and he just grins at me and says lets just visit. so we did. he asked me about my parents and how they were doing. he made me feel so at ease. i imagined that he did that with all of the people that he interviewed with. he was the type of man you could see fishing with his grandkids. he also was a part time farmer. i can just see him sitting with his grandkids on the tractor.
i will miss you Mr. West. you were the heart and soul of our school. your funeral was jammed packed standing room only, in your little methodist church that you attend most of your life. you will be sorely missed. i know you are in heaven.
rest in peace in the arms of your heavenly father.

farewell....

I just wanted to talk about it....

if you read my previous post, you might think i am really upset or depressed or not managing very well..... but really that is not the case at all. i just needed to talk about it. i am the type of person if i can express all of my thoughts it helps release my faith and my attitude.

i ask myself sometimes if i am upset or sad or whatever. most of the time my honest answer is numbness. it is still such a large idea, that i still have trouble wrapping my mind around it. however things do seem to be taken care of even if it is not with the time table that i would prefer. david is not here alot of times to talk with and so sometimes i find myself with no one to talk to. it is just not the same over the phone. my company lately seems to be 8 and 9 year olds. i have to admit i am beginning to miss my best friend, my hubby. i miss not bouncing ideas off of him. most of the time i don't slow down until late and do not want to burden anyone.

but i know things will be fine, they always are. i just needed to vent.

ttfn.................

I JUST WANTED TO TYPE..........

i just wanted to type. i don't really know anything. i do know however that i really was nervous this morning, waiting to hear about a job today. i was so expecting to hear today.i was told in my interviews that i would start hearing something today. i was really nervous. i haven't felt that nervous in a very long time. maybe the first time i was waiting to hear back from david after a date. so finally i couldn't take it anymore and i called kathy to check on the status of my resume'. she said that they were told to wait another day or so in a principals meetig yesterday. GREAT!!!!!!!!

i wanted to have that area taken care of. i am so ready for all of this to be taken care of. how many times will i say that in this blog. when your life hasn't had a significant change in many years the anticipation of a change can be paralysing. just waiting, keeps you hanging in the wire. waiting for things to get started. waiting for the house to sell. waiting for april 29th to get here so that your taks for this year can be over with. waiting to see where you will live. waiting for just the right time to start packing your house, your class, places you have been for the last ten years. waiting, waiting, waiting

i have peace, but some days i can feel the peace wearing thin. where will i be? where will the girls and i live? where will we go to church? will we be lonely when david is gone on his job for weeks at a time? will the girls meet new friends, will i? i love meeting people, but sometimes the effort can be exhausting. i am finding in this stage in my life my energy for making friends is waining.

will the new ladies at my new job really like me? will they think i am funny? will i have anything to offer my students? will the people in the new area where we live love us? will we feel all alone? i am sometimes afraid. most of the time i am strong, i find my strenght in the Lord, but i am human. i fall sometimes, i crash sometimes, i don't want to get up sometimes, i just want to lay there and dissolve into nothingness. these are some of the thoughts that i think about sometimes. i am not good with uncertainty. i want things solved. but we don't always get that choice. i don't like living in the middle of uncertainty. but i don't think i am really ready to move. i have to admit that sometimes i think that we really won't move. how about that for denial. have you ever had your whole life planned out in your mind only to have it totally shaken up? that is how i truly feel. i am so excited for david, but feel totally at a loss for me and the girls. i feel lost.

all of this has been a true test of my faith. not in God, not in His faithfulness, but just a test. does that make since. i am so going to miss my family. it hurts.i love my sisters so much. i am going to miss my nieces having their babies. seeing my nephew raise his children. watching my younger nieces and nephew become Godly young men and women. i am so going to miss my friends. all of the fun times we had and all of the great conversations sometimes filled with tears we were laughing so hard. i know we will try to keep in touch, but it still is a loss. i know God can see tomorrow , for that i am so thankful. if i did not , i would not survive this move. i like the familiar.

will anyone that i care and love watch my girls turn into lovely young women of God? watch all of the incredible things they do in power of the Lord. who will watch them play sports and all of the plays that they might be in?

everyday the reality of the move gets closer and closer. it becomes more real. it is more real.
i will trust in the Lord for I know the plans He has for me. He will keep my feet from slipping. All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called to His purpose.

Peace, Peace, wonderful peace, flowing down from the Father above. Sweep over my spirit forever I pray...... in fathomless billows of love.

I know the peace speaker, I know Him by name.

ttfn...............

Foreign language....A turkey waddle....And milk through the nose......

we have really started to enjoy our dinners together as a family since david is not home all of the time. they have become a time of laughter and great fun. tonight we were running a little late so we just had breakfast for supper. we were sitting at the table just being silly and laughing, when i decided we should do something silly and out of the ordinary.

so i say to everyone, hold a part of the person to the right that you have never held before. so explained it couldn't be a hand or an arm or leg. i grab david's ear, hannah held bekah's knee and bekah reached up and held....................... my turkey waddle of a chin. then after she touched it she started to push it up, so as to give it support.

david laughed so hard he shot milk out of his nose. it landed on hannah so she started laughing so hard. i just shook my head.

then hannah started saying that she could speak french. she got this book she was reading and tried to start speaking the french language. david began to look over her shoulder to help her. we were laughing so hard. when david sat down, i looked at him and said, hey you can speak spanish.... remember nunca, nunca, secuda, a une bebe.....


i don't say it just like it is supposed to be said. i thought david was going to fall out of his chair.

thank you Jesus for the special little moments that You provide for us. may i never take them for granted.