I Was Destined To Be Your Mama.....

Ten years ago, I was given the best gift any woman could ever receive. The birth of my first born daughter. She had brown eyes, creamy doll like skin, and more affection in her eyes toward me than any other person has given me. I didn't know her yet, but time would take care of that. We were a stunning couple right from the start. She responded to my voice the first time a spoke her name. It was at that moment, that I knew I was destined to be her mama.

We had a lot to learn, her and I. But we were off to a great start. The second she looked in my eyes I knew I was captivated. The bond between us had been growing for nine months. I started singing to her, from the moment I knew she had been created. I remember the day I found out she was growing inside me, like it was yesterday. I shared my hopes and dreams with her. I talked to her constantly, telling her what a blessing she was to my life. How God had been so faithful.

We would go on long walks together just her and I. I watched in amazement as my belly grew with that precious baby. It was a miracle. It was promise of hope, the future, brighter sunny days. I was so excited.

After Hannah was born, I would just sit and hold her for hours and hours on end. Not only was she holding my hand as I rocked her, she was holding my heart. How beautiful she was to me. This precious gem. This little girl that I had prayed for for so long. I remember finally laying her in the little bassinet, only to sit up in the wee hours of the night just gazing upon her.

What a cuddle bug she was, this little girl of mine. I used to rock her and she would take her little hand and hold on to my hair, stroking it gently. I would sing to her of my love. Her little face would just light up.

She is ten now, and I can feel her trying to gain her independence. Ever once in a while sneaking a peek back just to make sure that she has not drifted off too far. Still wanting me, as she tries out her new found legs. I will be there my precious angel. For you see, there is no space between us. You are flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone. You carry my heart with you forever. You are my truest part of my heart. I love you forever.

Three years and three months later, I was to be gifted again. What a surprise!!! What a shock!!! What a miracle. I discovered you, in late November. I will never forget that day either. I went and bought two pregnancy tests, just to make sure. But your daddy knew of you. He knew before I did. He was not surprised at all. What a blessing you were to us. My pregnancy was filled with sheer delight and joy. The time seemed to flutter by. I used to go into your room, before you were born, and rock in the rocker I spent hours rocking you in, just talking to you. I sang to you. I prayed for you. I reveled in the sheer delight knowing that you were there.

I have such vivid memories of Hannah placing her hand on my stomach, and saying to me,"Mama, when is she coming?" "Will she love me?" I would answer, "Yes my sweet."

Your arrival gave us a scare. But we were so protected by our heavenly Father. We did not get to officially meet until the next day. I really don't remember that day. They tell me you cried all night long, until they finally decided to bring you to me. I had tubes in my mouth. But they held you on my chest and immediately you stopped crying. You rested there for a long, long time. That was our first official meeting. Every time they took you from me, you cried. You had beautiful blue eyes and china like skin. The sheer joy I felt once I got to hold you in my arms. We had a bond that no one could ever break. Our lives rested in the hand of God. We had to stay in the hospital for one week, and then we were allowed to go home.

It was summer. Our days were filled with cuddle time, long gazes into each others eyes, and you were constantly carried by me. Like a rare jewel that I could never put down. I saw immediately that you had joy unspeakable. You were a very happy baby. My heart was certainly captivated by you. You were a mama's girl from the start. We were hip to hip all the time.

You remind me of a butterfly. You float through life. Your joy is contagious. People can not help but smile when they are around you. You fill our house with laughter.

I know there will come a time when you too, will try to gain your independence from me. I pray that that day will take a long time to come. However, I know the day is coming.My darling Rebekah, I love you with a love ever lasting. I will always be there for you. You are my joy. Heart of my heart. Bone of my bone. I love you forever!!!!!!!!!!!

To my baby grills:
I am so thankful for you. You have completed my life. You are the best thing I have ever been allowed to do with my life. You have made me what I am today...............

A MOMMY