i am carrying my girls to college....

i have decided that i am carrying my girls to college. now david has said that from the beginning and i agree. we had to wait so long for the blessing of our children, i never want to leave them. it is during the summer that i get to know my girls in way that i wouldn't normally, if i wasn't a teacher. we get to have so many mornings that it is just me and them, because david is flying. he has been flying alot lately. don't get me wrong, i miss him, but it is nice when it is just me and the girls. we play games, paint our nails, watch movies, go to the park, play in the sand, and just get to visit with each other.

i am truly blessed to have the wonderful girls that i do. i value them, i delight in them, i cherish them. it is in these times that i God whispers to me that he loves me the way i love them. what a precious God we serve. it is in these times that i look into hannah or bekah's eyes and feel all the love that a mother could ever feel. it is in these times that i feel complete and full of joy. it is in these times that i am overwhelmed with warm mushy feelings that only come from being a mother. it is truly the best gift in the world. i ask God daily to refresh me, make me the mother he intended me to be for these girls. it is then that i ask God to watch over my girls and protect them and fill their lives with joy and peace. it is there that i pray that david and i raise the girls to be everything God intended them to be. i pray for every aspect of their lives. i feel so unworthy to raise them and God gently reminds me that i am not alone. He is with me every step of the way. leading and guiding me. helping me to show them a Godly example of what a mother looks like and acts like.

i have to admit i have made many mistakes. i have cared more about keeping the house clean instead of playing together with them. i have spent to much time with others instead of focusing on them. i have watched too much t.v. instead of going outside with them. i have been frustrated when i should have been compassionate. i have yelled when i should listened. God forgive me. it is then in the quiet of the night when God softly speaks to my heart and whispers," Be still and know that I am God. I have everything under control even their future. you have dedicated them to Me before they were born. I have not forsaken them or you. I will be here forever with you. " I have equipped you to be their mother."

it is there when i get on my knees and with a heart full of gratitiude and eyes full of tears that i thank Him. and He lifts me up only to rejuvenate my spirit.

i have decided i am carrying my girls to college, if only in my heart.

My Girls

it is late at night and i am reading the blogs, they way i do, late at night. today was just an ordinary summer day. we got up at 10:30 a.m. can you tell it is the middle of summer? we are all staying up so late.

one of the things that i enjoy doing with my girls is watching what not to wear and 10 years younger on TLC. we love those shows. now bekah and hannah always ask me if i would wear what they tell the people to wear on their show. of course i say yes. but who can afford $250 for a pair of slack and $350 for a cashmere sweater and $200 for a pair of shoes? but i know what you are thinking they don't have to pay for it, that is why they are on the show. would someone please nominate me for that show. i would share. our favorite part is when they cut the hair. hannah and i talk alot about whether we like what nick does. there have been a few times that we don't. hannah will say to me mama, you used to cut hair, i bet you could do a much better job than that.

we also like 10 years younger because you get to see the end result quicker. after supper we went to the park and hannah played in the sand box and i pushed bekah on the swing. we didn't go until 8, because it is so hot. after the girls showered, we sat down to play sorry. our family loves that game. we play it at least three times a week. i know, i know, your thinking it's time to get a new game. but we just love to watch rebekah and hannah send each other home with the sorry card. they both have their own special way of torturing the other as they send them home. tonight the rule was to lick one of the pieces, after it got to home and to stick it on our forehead for the duration of the game. of course this set in motions all sorts of laughter, that makes the game playing longer. we love games at our house.

both of us (David and myself) grew up playing games at our houses. i am thankful for that tradition that i can pass down to my kids. i tomorrow i will go out and buy another game for us to play. not that you needed to know that. i just thought i would share it.

after i finish here i am going to read one of the best books i have come across in a long time. the name of it is the atonement child. it is written by francine rivers. she writes great books. check her out some time. redeeming love is my favorite. but be warned, once you start you will not be able to put it down.

anyway thanks for stopping by today and sharing my life with me. i look forward to seeing you again.

ABSOLUTE..........

today was an awesome service. pastor david did an incredible sermon. he was talking about faith. all of the different types of faith there are. his text came from james:2. he said a lot of really great things, but the things that he said that really ministered to my spirit was having an absolute trust in God. the word the really stuck in my heart and mind was absolute.

if a person has an absolute idea or thought, it is with complete and unmovable determination. there are many times in my life that i lose sight of that word. or it doesn't even come into play. absolute. there are no questions there. no faltering, no stumbling and no room for doubt.

the Holy Spirit really started speaking to my heart about all of the cares of this world that make for distractions in my life and turn my focus off of God. there is an old hymn that sayes, oh the peace we often forfeit. how many times have i been so guilty of that. sometimes our circumstances seem so overwhelming, that we totally focus on that. or even minor situations or just regular everyday life prevents us or keeps us so distracted from God that we forget how much He truly loves us.

he loves us so much. i think if we really knew how much, i mean really knew,we would be unstoppable. the word also tells us that just for a moment is our affliction. we are not to grow weary in doing good for in due season we shall reap a harvest. but we can' t even work the feild when our focus is off of Christ and his absolute love for us. if we knew how much He loved us then our faith in Him would be absolute. I forget that He will never let anything come into to my path the with Him, i can't handle.

absolute trust. knowing that all things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

My Dearest Jesus,
Please help me to have absolute trust in you. I realize this may be asking for opportunities for me to exercise this in my life, but i don't care. I want to totally trust you. Relax in you. Rest in you no matter what. I know you dearly love me and that you are constantly working for my good. Help me stay focused on you. You are every breathe i take. you are my life and i am so blessed that you listen to my ramblings no matter how long. You are my best friend and constant companion. You are my true confidant and my trust lies solely in you. I want to show my girls what a mother looks like who totally puts her trust in you. I want to show them what a woman of faith is. I love you Jesus. Take total control of my heart life and soul.

p.s. Thank you for bringing your promises to fruition. You know what i mean. You are so faithful.

Your daughter,
Kim

simple entertainment

i spent a great morning with my family. david had gone to the store yesterday with the kids to rent some movies. movies are a big source of entertainment at our house. one of the movies that the girls picked out was a night at the museum. what a fantastic movie. we had such a great time watching it as a family. we started it at about 10:00 a.m. and finished it about 12:00.

one of the nice things we get to enjoy is sleeping in late during the summer. my girls are old enough to let us sleep in and get themselves some juice and a pop tart until we are awake. sometimes when we get up we have a real breakfast, if the girls want it , sometimes not. what a wonderful blessing it is to sleep in until 9:00.

i enjoy watching my girls laugh at the movie during funny parts. that is one of the best parts about being a mom, is seeing things through my kids eyes. rediscovering things that have grown dull or unexciting to my eyes are a wondrous discovery through their eyes.

anyway it was a great day.

a delightful treat.................

today is a day we celebrate freedom. i am so thankful for friends who listen and respond with a heart full of love. my last blog was a little down, but i am thankful for friends who give encouraging words. wise words. words that speak true to my heart. so to all of you friends who read my blog and offer encouraging words THANKS. may you find your days filled with joy unspeakable and full of laughter.

on this independence day, i am thankful for my daughters and family. we went to comanche for hannah's softball tournament. we didn't win, but it was a great day with the family. i am proud of hannah. she plays with all of her heart. and gives it her best. today God blessed me with a visit with a dear old friend. we used to teach together and now she teaches in ballinger. we visited during all of the games. her daughter was asked to be on our team as a fill in.

then after we finished one of hannah's friends parents asked us to their ranch so the girls could ride horses. hannah and bekah and nicole rode horses for about half an hour. they had the best time. they were almost squealing.

so thank you God for this delightful independence day. thank you for all of the freedoms we share.

unsettled spirit????????

do you ever have an unsettled spirit? i am experiencing that even as i write. i don't know why. could it be something new on the horizon? or a change of some sort? is God taking me to a new place? for the past several days i have had an unexplainable unsettled spirit.

nothing has gone wrong. nothing that i can put a finger on. i have to admit i have had many summers off and this is the first one that has just felt awkward for some reason. i can't put my finger on it. it just feels different. i know the word tells us to be anxious for nothing, and not to rely on our own understanding, and i am really trying to do that. but for some reason i just feel unsettled.

i have to put down all the lies of the enemy. i know that. i will wait and trust in the Lord. i know that this to shall pass. i just thought i would see if anyone else ever feels this way.

the man in my life..............

today i have had a wonderful lazy day. just a day with my family. david was supposed to fly but ended up having to cancel, because of the weather at his destination place. all of you know my husband. the wonderful man that he is. he is truly the most giving person i know. there isn't a single moment that he doesn't live his life for others. and he is so funny. there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't make me laugh.

i have had the joy of knowing him for 21 years. wow has it been that long. what do you say about a man who knows you at the core of your being and loves you anyway. i look at him and know that God loves me. He gave me such a beautiful husband and best friend. we have definitely gone through some difficult times, but as a result our love and commitment towards each other has only intensified. there is nothing like knowing that you are with the man that God created just for you. how blessed i am.

david is a terrific husband and an incredible father. his girls look at him with adoring eyes. their faces light up every time he comes through the door. i know that they are going to have a great relationship with their heavenly father because of the example that david has set for them as their earthly father. not only that but they have such a great role model for what to look for when they start looking for a mate. that sets my heart a peace.

my darling,
i love you. you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. thank you for loving me and spending your life with me. thank you for helping me make two of the most beautiful girls that God ever created. i pray rich blessings over you. thank you for becoming the man that God intended you to be. it is a privilege being your wife. i look forward to spending eternity with you. may you find peace at every corner. may joy spill over in your heart. may you always know that i am behind you 100%. i love you forever.

ttfn.....................